A.M. Ah, the morning. Such a glorious, leisurely time in Argentina. Whether we spent the morning lazing around, watching the sun come out and the heat come up, or we huddled behind a warm cup and beefed up on bread products to prepare ourselves for the chilly jaunt around the city, the morning was always a satisfying experience. This is in no small part due to the omnipresent spectacle of the cafe con leche (latte) and medialuna (croissant) combination that graced so many of the numbered-combo menus around the country. Oh, did I forget to mention?: the European conquest of Argentina, while for better or for worse, has been a major factor in many aspects of life, including the daily ritual known as breakfast. This ritual, when done properly, should last for at least an hour and take place in a cafe: with or without WiFi is your own concern. Medialunas come in a variety of forms, but the only guaranteed presence
will be the dulces. As with all of their food, Argentinians prefer things sweet, and medialunas are no exception. On our trip, we only stumbled across salty medialunas one time, and while they were delicious, they were an entirely different pastry all together, lacking the plump air balloon quality of the classics and instead presenting a harder, denser, more sailor-made bread product that gave one a feeling much further from the warm ovens of the cozy cafe. A good cafe will most likely accompany any ordered combination with a shot or two of additional beverages including the nefarious agua con gas (sparkling water, a new obsession of mine) and potentially a fresh juice or a creamy fruit product. As a long-standing fan of the King's Banquet style of dining, I strongly support the multiple beverage approach and heartily condone the completely-covered table as an important item in the morning partake. Other A.M. items might include a hard-boiled egg, a variety of obscenely sweet pastries and cookies, teas, toast and marmalade, and even the occasional fry-bread or sweet potato loaf. You can see why lingering is encouraged. And this is totally making my slightly stale bowl of Cheerio's breakfast jealous...P.M. So, ultimately I have divided the food stylings as such because there is virtually no distinguishable difference between lunch and dinner, at least as a tourist, in Argentina. Every afternoon, the choice has to be made: how many meals do I want to have meat in them today? For the vegetarians in the audience, this clearly is an easy decision, and they are instantly resigned to alternating between cheesy pizza and cheesy pasta, with a few (possibly cheesy) potato options thrown into the mix. No vegans, I am afraid this is not the land for you. In fact, this is probably the only arena I've ever been to (excluding Wisconsin) where a block of cheese is considered a well-rounded meal. It's a damn shame that I don't like the stuff.....NOT!!! Cheese is like one of my favorite food groups! But I would be lying if I didn't say that I'm happy to
be back in a land of cheese-less Ethiopian and Thai foods. Ah, sauces. There is no such thing as a strong sauce in Argentina. They were the Kings and Queens of Suave; the Mavens of Mild. If you have a dainty palate, prepare to be amazed with the diverse differentiations of delicacy that can be served up out of corn, sweet potato, pastas, more corn, and cheese. But back to the meals. So does meat sound good for dinner? Okay, sure. 
That means I'll take a pizza for lunch. They do know their way around a fine pizza. But like hamburgers in the United States, choose wisely, because a wide range of product can be returned. The worst had huge puffy crusts and little toppings, more like a focaccia toast with not enough spread. While the best included fresh cheeses and pickled vegetables, thick and chunky tomato sauce, and the requisite array of unpitted green olives to top the pie. There were many options, especially in the city, and some were too bizarre for even me to dare. EG that ridiculous smoked salmon and brie concoction in the outer Once area of Buenos Aires. Yikes.Meat for dinner comes with a variety of tasty decisions. Steak is the most known meat of Argentina, and it comes in forms that span from thin steak sandwich to thick steak
sandwich to just a thick steak. Milanesa, or fried thin steak, was also quite popular. In the Western side of N Argentina, right around the base of the Andes, llama is one of the meattastic attractions, eaten by locals and visitors alike. I also had the pleasure of munching a goat leg, which I'm always surprised isn't served in the United States. The fat of the goat is so rich, it's definitely almost illegal. It's the one bite and you remember it for days sort of food that could soar up the ranks in fancy one-bite foodie restaurants. But I also think the same about goose-necked barnacles, and no one I know has captured that flag and made a run for it, so....we'll see. Oh, and there's also some pork running around. And if you're daring, which we only were one time, thank goodness, you can order the full parilla for two. This is like a mobile charcoal-bed slaughter house carrying at least 3 different animals. You get some pork chops, steak, chicken, blood sausage, regular sausage, kidney, liver and intestine. And by the end, you never want to see the insides of another animal. But don't worry: this will pass.For me, Argentina was not about the search for the perfect steak. No, no, it was about the search for the perfect choripan, a chorizo (spicy sausage) sandwich topped with a variety of tangy vegetable options. But some gifts come for a price: my long quest eventually revealed to me that it was not the chorizo that
made this sandwich so heartwarmingly desirable. No my friends: it was the toppings. And only the toppings at Chorimovil, located behind Dique 1 in Puerto Madero, Buenos Aires, are enough to move mountains. Tomato, lettuce and mmk (mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup) are doable. Basil oil and chili paste make me come back for more. But it is the vinegar-based pickling of red and white cabbage, carrots and onions that really send it soaring to the heavens. And that's why our last day was spent down on the marshlands, in the midst of millions of different parillas (grilling stands), munching down on a pork chop sandwich outside of Chorimovil, no Choripan in sight...The feeling of betrayal will pass, I'm sure.To go along with the meats, potatoes are quite common. As in, everywhere. Whether they are pureed, fried, baked, boiled or gratined, they are definitely available. Rice also happens. And quinoa is a big thing near the Andes. Don't expect to eat any vegetables of any kind. I'm not sure how they do it, but
my current hypothesis includes a combination of cigarettes, early deaths and coffee to keep most of the Porteños reasonably thin. Because healthy foods are pretty much nonexistent.Appetizers, on the other hand, definitely do take place on a regular basis. Sideshowing as side-of-the-road snacks, empanadas, tamales and humitas can be found all over the northern chunk of the country, although the latter foods are definitely more of a mountain-range type of cuisine. Tamales are essentially the same in Argentina = filled with meat and corn, and trussed up in a corn shuck. Humitas, quite deliciously, are essentially the same thing but SIN CARNE, or meat-free, a delicacy that can sometimes be too hard to come by. They make up the mix with more corn and goat cheese, although not like the kind we think of in the States. In NW Argentina, goat cheese is the epic farmer's cheese, ie the you-find-it-everywhere, default, cheddar of the south. It has a hard texture
complexity with the slight resemblance to mild feta that makes it an inhalin' good substitute when in withdrawals and dreaming of cheese. Empanadas, however, make a grandiose appearance in Northern Argentina and are frequently the only thing being served (other than pizza) at the late night music shows that are a bi/tri-weekly must-do in every city. The standard flavors come in chicken, beef, and ham and cheese, although occasionally you stumble across a vegetarian option. Like most things (scre
w you Passport Health!), the most delicious empanadas were to be found in the (gasp) street-food alley, sold out of a warm basket by an abuelita with husband in tow. Being recently fried, having fresh meat and a fabulous crust made this the best empanada of the trip, and we were sad to see that she had moseyed off in search of other customers by the time we wandered back that way for seconds.EVERYTHING ELSE Wait, you might be thinking. So what does one stuff into an 'other' section after all that other nonsense? Desserts? Why, yes, there were desserts. Obscenely sweet is how they like things down there. Sugar cane honey can make anyone reach for the water glass. And five flavors of flan can only go down for so many meals. And, with all the medialunas, who was really thinking about pastries? Not a lot to report back on desserts. Alcohol is also an other. The 1 liter glass bottle of bad beer is the standard unit of yeast measurement. So, there's that. And all the wine is pretty dang good, each bottle usually ringing in at a lowly $10 USD. Not bad at all. Nothing negative to report back on wines. But no, this section is for cof
fee. And tea. But you already mentioned coffee! you proudly bite back with. Tis true, tis true. But I would be remiss not to mention it again. There are two things in which every person in Argentina imbibes more than any other. Actually, they usually pick one and stick to it. It's a familiar jingle actually. That's right: coffee or tea. By coffee, they actually mean lattes. And that's just delicious. I'm a coffee girl myself. And it's amazing when even the smallest cafe with plastic chairs has an espresso machine sitting in the back. Ah, lattes. It gets a little overwhelming at first with the coffee everywhere. By the end, I was limiting myself to ~3 cups per day: the breakfast requisite, the siesta-time chaser and the late-night reviver. Of course, they have like zero caffeine in those little mugs, so with the warm milk, it's not the most effective system. But it is delicious. And that's the important part. And, w
ho can go to Argentina and have a foodie blog without taking about Mate? It's impossible! So, it's like a personal tea maker, with a straining spoon that you keep filled with tea leaves. All you need is a personal thermos or a friendly vendor. Seriously, this might be the only place where you're as likely to find boiling water as you are a cold bottle of the stuff on the side of the street. There are a million different kinds of teas, and kids cups, and basically everyone you see is carrying this teapot around with them. Inside museums, i
n secured bathrooms, in hostels, in restaurants. Mate, mate, mate. And, of course, Spencer had a long-running joke that I'm sure he's proud to take credit for, the: "That's not your te, it's Mate!" zinger. Good times.Anyway, so there are like tons of things I could talk about. Or at least three or four more I could think of. But I'm jealous of my past-self, and this post has already taken me several days and is way too long. So, enjoy. And keep eating!
(more photos pending...)
