Tuba (22nd and Guerrero)

Well, now that we've all enjoyed that highly positive commentary on the highlights of SW road-trip eating, I thought I'd head back to foggy San Francisco to resume some gloomy rant&rave about restaurants in the city. If it was a cloud, I would look for a silver lining my friends. But no - we are talking about the endless fog with no boundaries that rolls in to consume most of the joy and at least 50% of the gayness that comes with rejoicing in rainbow flags. So, here I go again to berate another local establishment....hopefully, well deserved beratement....This misplaced Berkeley dining experience lies on the randomly hip corner at 22nd and Guerrero over in the Mission. A mere hill away from my residence, I have often coasted through the neighborhood, most frequently to dine at the deliciously decadent and depressingly expensive sushi restaurant "Kiji" which sits next door. Tuba opened recently and I immediately noticed the packed interior and upbeat atmosphere, a stark contrast from the always vacant French restaurant a couple of doors down with its fancy waiters, deal menu and awkwardly outnumbered diners. I also noticed Tuba's super ugly, red and blue, translucent s&p shakers. Well, when friends and I were searching for sustenance late one weekday night, Tuba was open and gripes about primary color schemes were not enough to deter. So we wandered over to this Turkish restaurant for a spin on a meat-log. I didn't like it. The wine came in little tiny bottles with plastic tops and almost every single thing on the menu was red meat. Or eggplant, the most hated of the vegetable family. Our appetizer sampler consisted of 10 different fried patties of random things. Some had cheese, some had zucchini, some were falafel. But it was really difficult to tell which was which, a travesty I would expect more from Applebees than a quasi-nice restaurant in the city. I don't understand this in-between thing that so many awful restaurants seem to get away with! Why can't it be either street food or fancy food? Why do I need something expensive that I have to sit down for when it would have tasted better marinating in its own fats on a cart somewhere (cough cough Ti Couz)? There is no need for this Tuba! Their idea of making the meal fancy was taking the stick out of the shishkabob thereby creating some sort of Frankenstein meatlog that was not really doing it for me. Number 1 rule of a great meal = make sure the food doesn't look the same going in as it does going out! Ennnhhh - Fail! In fact, I spent most of my meal trying to figure out whether my entree looked more like a Caribbean phallus on vacation in San Francisco or the most likely curse to befall me after eating that fried appetizer platter. Yikes! I think my best bet from now on will be hole-in-the-wall Turkish places out by Cesar Chavez or something. This place was all about the wrong kind of sketch......But, to be completely fair, the event was not a failure. This leads me to my conclusion about eating in general....

I deem it: "Proof that the first and most important ingredient in a satisfying dinner meal is good company!"

Note - The meat-log above is actually from Turkey and not from Tuba (and therefore more delicious). But you get the idea! If only this were more like a Turkish restaurant and less like an faux-fancy, semi-exotic place meant to cater to middle class city goers with limited traveling time and a sad palate....